bila zafirah bnyk berfikir :((

assalamualaikum semua. shit. i feeel like shit. warrrrrrghh~

sume ni psal kkc laa.. haiya.. kkc, klo ko ade rmbut mcm azeem, lme da ak tarik smpai cabut!

the test previously was oukay, tp the interview just now was like damn. y everyone seems to b annoying n hell yeah, aku emo dgn korang. oukay mengikut perasaan sgt zafirah ni ha. yes i am. wey, ak x lyk msuk kkc. i noe. cehs padahal td confident ckp layak. haha. shit. ak tipu! lol..  EMO!EMO!EMO! zafirah gets annoyed today. terase pissed off. apsal la emosi ak ni kaco sgt ni. haih. lek ar pear,. intrview je. sheep. i perform better in intrvw jpa kowt! nervous like hell.. no .. not really.. mncabar minda betol. sorry ar bro amir, u looks so cute! haha. no! kidding. ak geram tgk korang sume td. ye. sumpah! rse  nk gigit sorang2. felo pun same. omg. i know u already married la mdm..yeke?cnfident je. haha. tp ak rse ak pnah tgk ank dier kt kc. wtv. zafirah punye emosi x stabil. dri ptg td dah. tetibe emo! sorry babe.  if u can tolerate wif my unstble emotion, then stay. if not., try to adapt. or change me not to b 1. or u may leave. haih.. tgk.. emo lg. shit. my tears only last inside d eyes for 2 days only. then u start to drop urself again. ouh tears.. syg sket dri ko tu. jgn pt jtuh. klau dh jtuh tu, bgun la sndri. ni nk sruh org tulun pujuk n angkt plak.,.. apehal?? b matured. pkir dlu sblum jatuh. berbaloikah? ye. skrng ak rse berbaloi sbb ak tension ni wey. pressure to neck to head! high pressure. mahu mngadu kt org tp org tga bz2 sume. hm.. xpe. ak syg ko belog. dats y ak tlis. permenant lg tuh. ily belog.. muah2 sket.. XD

oukay ak rse ak dah gilaaa! ye. ak skt kpala since ptg td. dah sronok sgt men smpai lupa ak skt. ni la padahnnye. ko tanggung la skrng sorang2. hm. sakit jgn la tarik2 my urat kepala ni ha.. sakit denyut3.. n ak lappaa la belog. x mkn dinner. lunch lme dh digest tgh hri td.  skrng ak senang lapa weyh. musim2 fertile ni mmg cmni. sheep. ak rse nak mkn kuey tiaw tom yam kc. pergh. hilang panas! haha. ckp psal panas, ak tga pns ni:( rse cm nk dmm da.. tula td gatai men active sgt. dah la esk kuiz prtanian. n yet ak bru bce 2 page je. sheep!.

i hate myself. i want to b d old zafirah. the 1 who didn’t care bout others. the one who was always happy go lucky. always focus on herself. i miss my study style. ouh i want me 3years back. struggling hard, hard n  hard till d very end smpai la spm! wey, mne pegi ak yg rjin study, yg rjin jmpe ckgu tnye soaln, yg rjin stay up smpai pagi, yg slalu bgun at dawn, mne pegi solat hajat sume? eeeeeeeeeee…. emoooooooooo. mne ak yg dlu?? skrng ni i hv sooo many bad qualities. shit! shit for myself! skrng kt universiti, zafirah mnjadi semakin malas. semakin enjoy. semakin bebas. xde siape pun tegur. xde siape pun nak nasihat. everyone stands by their own

ak nak sgt kwn2 mcm skola mngh dlu. remind each other. nk sgt ckgu2 yg caring. kt cni pensyarah lain giler. ‘ko dtg,ak lyn,. ko x dtg, lantak la kau’ lbey kurang cmtu la prinsip diorang yg ak phm. hm.. ape nk jadi dgn ko zafirah?? exam lagi seminggu. gtaw skt ape yg ko da bce? ape yg ko dah phm? boley ke jwb essay titas knegaraan n h.e?? dah hebaat sgt ke? sume fakta dah hafal? yg fizik,dah phm sume konsep? ykin bley jwb sume? x revise lg kan? da try jwb soalan? bley ke bwat sume? yg kimia pulak..mmg la mostly ko a blaja kt mtrik. tp ko ingt ke ape yg ko phm? insyaAllah ingt sikit kan. tp ble dpt soalan, ko ykin bley jwb? klau dier putar2 sket, msti ko gabra kan? ni exercise da ckup belom?? x ckup kan? xbwat bnyk mne pun kan? stdy la mangkok! zafirah! ko ni knape? i dunno either. y ak pressure myself ni?????????? ye. i shud coz no one seems to care. but i do care of mysself. xley depends on anyone la zafirah. stnd by ur own. ko kne sedar sndiri. siape yg nk sedar kan ko sruh blajo? ak la. haih. n yet ak xdpt lg mud study yg btul2 stdy tu.

ak rse mcm nk banned je fb ni!! boley x anyone banned ak drpd login fb.?? shit. melalaikan sungguh. n yet still bukak kan.. pe la ko ni zafirah. haish. lagha.. zafffffffiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! wey, sedar la sikit. tapi ko nak 3.5 above? cmni ke cara dier??? sheeeppp.. ape ak ni. . ak rse dah nkmental dh ni. tolong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES. I KNOW. I THINK TO MUCH. WALK YOUR TALK LA ZAFIRAH!!! PKIR JE LBEY. BWAT XNK. START LA WEY.. TOLONG LA ZAFIRAH. APE DAH NK JD NI???????

i think i think to much.

n i hate it

sumtimes it is gud for me, but now. NO!

waaa:(

tolong:(

emo lg ;(

eeeeeeeeeeeeee~

gerammmmmm…

EMOTIONALLY FREAKING UNSTABLE. sekian

Ouh Allah. am i too far from u?

i’m now crying for Your guidance.

i’m now craving for Your help.

i’m now wanting Your hidayah.

i know i’m never be near to perfect.

i forgot You sometimes.

i let myself being washed by lust.

wake me up from all these dreams

zafirah.. tolongla zafirah Ya Allah. ((

i love the way you lie.

chaotic soul!!

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
Well make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If Im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I dont need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If youre not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If youre not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I cant take it, I don’t understand
If Im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I cant be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

azeem. do we ought to b a part?

babe <3

heyya..suddnly gt d idea to write this XD well, since i always used this word, n it wud b nice if we noe d exact meaning rite,.? hehe.. here it goes~

BABE.

–noun

1. a baby or child.

2. an innocent or inexperienced person.

3. a term of endearment for a woman or a man.

-Slang .

4. Sometimes disparaging and offensive . a girl or woman, esp. an attractive one.

5. informal a young woman or man perceived as being sexually attractive.

hehe.. slalu gune kat d only 1 person je XD babe,babe,babe,babe..
hahaha.. sumber dri http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/babe

sigh..

sometimes i hate myself.
sometimes i love myself.
sometimes i am stupid.
sometimes i am smart.
sometimes i feel regret.
sometimes i feel glad.

confusion.

;((

;( ssdey glerr.. lamer gler x rse cmni.. pnat nangis.. bengkak2 dh sume.. tension gler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shit3!  ak benci ar! benci3!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ;(( gler emo.. almst fainted!! what should i do? what could i do? kelar tgn! cry till late nite? need sum1 to cool me down… need a shoulder to cry on.. where r u ppl..?????? oukay i’m e 1 yg x cri u guys,yet hw u guys will know kn.. shit la ak! ( babe,i sdey;(( satu,satu, and another masalah dtg… emooo babe..

mum,sorry i switched off e phone.. high depression! can’t help it. sorry. i hv no intention to be rude or wut,. jst i’m waaaay depressed n feeling more than that nw. i thot i can hold it but i can’t. trillions tears dropped.  ……………………….

hm. babe..i’m not really good in expressing my thought, probs..don’t force me to.. its susa to put it in words. i knw it’ll cause u to feel disatisfied, trgntung, emo, wut else.. but i’ll surely akn gtaw if its not really privte or perhaps sumday u’ll noe. sure! hm.. i knw. my bad. but i need a shoulder to cry on, i need a person to listen to e pain, for i knw i can’t stand alone. i can’t handle it alone. need backup. y do my eyes can’t stop wasting d air2? zafirah!! control boley?? haih.. babe, i forgot to breath. ptut rse cm nk mati. cehs..

yet can feel some space of udara. fuuuuhh.. sabarlah wahai zafirah~ u r not alone insyaAllah.

no suka without duka~

Assalamualaikum n salam 1 Malaysia.. hehss..

hello ppl. zafirah is back. well disini beta mahu story mory about my bday yg bru je berlepas beberapa puluh jam yang lalu. huhu.. well, i dh short listed kan most effective n efisyen person of the day. hehe, here it goes;

1st bdaywish b4 bday : azeem [ader major story bout this. later i'll citer..hehe]
1st bday call : ‘Ain [ ily smpai matii<3 ]
1st bday sms : k.nad lola
1st bday post on wall fb : buddy,xox

so, Congrats ppl.. haha.. u brighten up my morn! hehss..

thnks to those yg gv bday wishes on fb. i do appreciate them. tmbhn lg, yg i cmmnt tuh, its all the person dat are dear to me. big hugs babeyh XD. n mereka yg ksi sms,mms.. n call.. hargai sgt korang weyh. ini ade sdikit lampiran.. haha.. early birds yg mengewish aku

oukay dah.. sekarang, its azeem’s turn. babe, u rawk, man! thnx for all e so-called-surprise. serious besar ak x sngka ko bwat cmtu. fuh.. wat a day. even a day early, tp sy x kesah. hahaha. its so meaningful+ wonderful till i smile one whole nite smpai ke pagi. hehss XD u r adorable. sweet sehingga mnjilat jari. haha.. no need to mention every details about the nite,. ckuplah sekadar kte cherish together.. thanks dear. i thnk u hd  bcme apart of me. won’t frgt u till i’m 7feet under.  serious besar!

n beberapa saat setelah 9 october berlalu, dtg lah 10 october.. hahahaha.. mmg la.. heee.. no, wat i nk citte is tht ni ha, my rumate bwat surprise party tetibe… around 12 cmtu, k.nad, azie, syaza, n k.piqah serbu bilik with big tupperware of fries, nuggets, cili sos and kek secret recipe yg bapak besar. slalu mkn slices je.. ni yg bulat tu ha.. thnx kak shu.. muah4… ilysm. ktrang pun mkn dan makan dan makan dan makan.. pergh.. kenyang sgt2.. smpai kek sume tinggl sparuh.. dh la fav ak.. CHEESE CAKE.. yeah.. kbetulan sme lak ngan kek azeem.. jst dis time, kek lg besar.. syg korang. hehe.. nuggets laku sgt, hbs awl2 dah.. syaza ar ni.. haha.. n fries yg bnyk pun dah ngeng.. bgus2.. x membazir! XD korang sume sgt sweet .. k.na n piqah n azie, 4 the bday prezzie, thnx taw.. thnk you sgt sgt  korang.

hehe.. thnks to k.mas group charger topap yg ksi hdiah n cake.. hehe.. syg akak jgk terbaek dari ladang k11.. hahaha..

to bday-mate, Aina Syazana, Happy Birthday syg. Semoga kita dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki. hugss

well, enuf bout bday, nw back to e title.. duka? huu.. hm. i duuno la hw to express my feeling skrng.

“Nobody wanna see us together, nobody thought we’d last forever
I feel I’m hopin’ and prayin’ things between us gonna get better”

-akon,don’t matter.

will b continue writing soon. i will. adios~

xoxoxo ; sharifahzafirahsyedwahid.

if i let you go~

assalamualaikum.

i’m here my dear belog..huhu..

sory lamer x menjengah di sni..being buzy lately with test and presentations and assignment. pffft~

last week sgt2 penat. damsel in distress? lbey kurang arr.. haha. well, the title.. i ske..it is a song by westlife. sgt touched if really layan maa.. sheep.. it reminds me of sum1 dat i used to share my problems,my thot, my pain. hurm. =( i wish dat time won’t passed by sgt cpt.. can u reverse blek time matriks dlu.. hell yeah.. missing everyone.. imy like hell.

well, current life was freaking hebat! i hv a day out last sunday wif a friend-or-used-to-be-the-scandal-kah. azie and others shud b there too. huu~ hm.. hving a great time. seriously serious! nvr felt those feelings b4.. thnks to those yg terlibat. rse so special. i love perasaan tu.

n there’s sumthing bout ppl nowadays dat i rse confused melampau. ape? hm.. ntah la.. i syg sume my friends. tp there’s sum kind of things bout them yg we can’t really phm. mayb just true friends je kowt yg boley discover.. i knw i’m not perfect. i’m not gud enuf. i’m jahat. wut else. jst say it babe. well, it really shows tht i need guidence then. dun left me. if u want to, i do not say dat i dont care. i do care. but its just i feel a bit sdey and mad. hurm. dunno la. wuts the use of kawan if we can’t be there when they need us.?  kawan oh kawan. Oh God, show me the way~

another thing, L.O.V.E. spell it? haha.. its love.. mcm2… so many ppl hd been saying bout love itu dan ini.. wtv.. if ak mau tulis, smpai hbs syawal pun x abes2.. hehss.. oh lupa, xsmpat maa mau gnti puasa in bulan syawal. haih. wey, i do have sumone dat i sincerely syg tp theres sum confusion inside. just 1 question dat i always wanted to tnye. its not tnye but more to beg. i’m begging here, please. i feel like dying when i cry. can you please help me by not making any tears drop. i am just a plain girl. i’m not strong enuf. i’m not tough.  i’m just perfectly imperfect. shit! i shud ask myself to stop crying either than asking ppl to stop making me crying. sensitve. too sensitive. jealousy. shitt sgt2. wey, ak bnci la perasaan jeles ni. it destroys me. it destroys my heart. shit3. stop making tears la mata zafirah. its already shining. shit. hey3, bnyk sgt ak mncarut shitty ni. bengong zafirah. hah. gilaa. hm i konw i shud suck it and accepting and adapting with d environmnt and ppl around.oukay i shud stop writing. lot of kerja to do. bubye belog. ilysm.

-zafirahfirazaferpear-

u make me laugh.
u make my cry.
i don’t know which
side to buy.