…

its alright because i like the way it hurts..

bosann keseorangan~ hoho..

Go through your wall posts and list the last 21 people to post on your wall or comment, like on your status. Do not list any repeats; simply go to the next name in the list. Then answer the 42 questions pertaining to the 21 names. When you’re finished, tag all 21 people on the list, so the cycle can continue. If you’ve been tagged, copy and paste this information into a new note and follow the directions above.

It’s freaky how some of them turned out.

1. Emynade Lenin
2. Noor LiyAna
3. Suhaila Bisikan Nurani
4. True-ly Fish
5. Aziatul Natasha Ahmad
6. Azeem Lenin
7. Too Chong Yao
8. Wan Nur ‘Adnin
9. Thasra Abdul
10. Yanadh Nadhirah
11. Siti Nuuraisyah Ridzwan
12. Alisa Yasmin
13. Ala Kei
14. Syafiqah Malik
15. Asma Ismahani
16. Shehdi Ragiun
17. Shar Rechell
18. Asryn Safyka
19. Bhariyyah Omar
20. Syafika Marzuki
21. Hakym Versus

1. How did you meet 1?
meem – em,rsenye 1st time jmpe dier mse kt UPM with her parents.. start berkenalan in their car bcoz that time we went for a family outing kt The Mines

2. What would you do if you never met 15?
k.asma – em,klau x jmpe, xkn dpt rse kasih syg seorang kakak even we both x rapat sgt, but i can feel tat she’s a very good person, n selalu mengingatkn org sekeliling esp. di Kelab Rakan Surau di FB

3. Would you date 20?
syfika – yeah! xpnah hangout dgn dier.. can gv a try.. jom syfika! haha~ 

4. Have you ever seen 8 cry?
wan – nope. xknal sgt XD

5. Would 3 and 11 make a good couple?
sue & cha – cpl tu x mungkin kowt! haha.. diorng 2org x knl sesame mereka but best friend guwe smpai mati!.. sumday klau ade rezki, pear kenalkn korng k

6. Describe 9.
thasra – hahaha~ agak bnyk point! but to be short, dier nih budak ssp! musuh time high skul dlu2.. haha.. ble awal2 jmpe kt kc, upm..dier ni mcm POYO! haha.. agak ar.. lantak ar ko thas klo ko bce pun, ak x kesah XP tp ble lme2 knal, she’s kinda oukay..cool, n still poyo.. budak sbp mmg opsss *wink* still fwen rite?

7. Do you like 16?
en.shehdi – err,myb.. haha.. tp dier ni bnyk tolong ak time matrik dlu, ble ak ditimpa masalah yg serius.. he’s a good brother though.. moga sir bahagia disamping family n KMS-hehdi(matrik slangor) yg bru bkk kt banting tuh.. haha.. bangga tol~

8. Do you think 5 is attractive?
tasha – of course!! dier chubby n cute taw.. perangai manja gler.. hehe.. really attractive..

9. When was the last time you talked to 8?
wan – never talk to her.huu~

10. Would you ever date 10?
yanadh – err,kawan ak kt tkc.. bley je nk date en XP

11. Where does 15 live?
k.asma – xtaw! haha..adoi.. kl kowt~

12.What’s the best thing about 21?
hakym – kawan baek boyfriend ak kowt.. haha.. looking forward to know more bout him

13. What would you like to tell 18 right now?
asryn – i miss you and you stories la, sexy!

14. What is the best thing about 7?
too – haha.. xknal jgk.. bdk fudtech ni kowt..

15. Have you ever kissed 4?
fish – x penah lg laa ..heee.. but she’s cute..can gv a try sumday.. hahahah *err,i’m not lesbo k~~

16. Describe the relationship between 17 and 19?
sharizan n nurul – xtaw la..tp 2-2 ni chantik *wink*

17. When’s the next time you’re going to see 12?
alisa – xtaw lg.. it has been years kowt x jmpe my adek angkt ni.. miss u dear

18. Is 18 pretty?
asryn – chantik dan sexy

19. What was your first impression of 6?
azeem – err, mamat ni agak serabai mse first time ak tgk dlu.. rambut gler pnjang.. bajet mcm mamat korea la konon.. hahaha.. but aftr dier da potong rmbut,looks better la.. smart n mcm ade karisma la sket..hehss.. but i’m missing his korean hair jgk hee..

20. Is 13 your best friend?
ala – em,nk kate best friend u x lg.. tp dier best! coursemate ak..she rawk babeyh

21. Have you seen 16 in the last month?
shehdi – nope~

22. When was the last time you saw 14?
k.piqa – b4 blek cuti raye cina , hari jumaat, lab chem mp4

23. Have you been to 21′s house?
hakym – x pernah.. rumah pun x taw kt mne

24. When is the next time you’ll see 10?
yanadh – xtaw.. klau ade rzki, ley jmpe.. hee~

25. Are you really close to 1?
meem – not YET tp sumday msti kne rapat pnye.. bkl adek ipar maa.. kne la kamceng sket en ..ngee~

26. Would you give 19 a hug?
nurul – yea..y not..msti best..~

27. Have you ever been to 11′s house?
cha – ntah la..kt mane ek?..x penah ~

28. Do you know a secret about 5?
tasha – em, tasha mcm xde secret..ngee~

29.What’s the best memory you have of 4?
lepak di studio kc i guess

30. What’s your friendship like with 7?
too – er,skdr fren kt fb kowt..even dier fudtech, tp mcm x pnah tgk pong..hoh

31. Have you ever danced with 17?
sharizan – xpanah lg laa.. haha.. msti dier lg pndai menari than ak~

32. How do you know 21?
hakym – fb, azeem’s

33. Does 2 has a boyfriend?.
yana – ader!! wan nme dier.. bdk mnjung jgk en~

34. Have you ever wanted to punch 6 in the face?
azeem – bgus la soalan ni XD slalu je rse wanna punch him, tp mne boley.. hbs lebam muke kang..haha.. silap hb, ak kne tumbok blek XD

35. Has 15 met your mother?
k.asma – xpnah..

36. Have you travelled anywhere with 12?
alisa – jalan2 around college je kowt XD

37. If you gave 7 $100, what would he/she spend it on?
too – xtaw la.. lgpun knape ak kne bg dier plak.. bek ak gne g shopping kt mines or spend kt time squre.. haha.. haish.. ble la bley pegi sne kn.. huh.

38. What’s your best memory of 19?
nurul – blum ade best mmry lg kowt~huhu

39. What is the one thing you most want 11 to know?
cha – rindu nk mengucing dgn cha

40. What was the last thing you did with 6?
azeem – em, msg dier bout mummy aedda.. tp x reply2 smpai skrng mst b bz wif festik..sabo jelaa

41. When did you meet 20?
syafika – kt top malinja mse msuk kc!

42. What do you wish for number 8?
wan – hope dpt knal2.. sape ek awk ni ? hoho~

i cried as you walked away~

hello duniya…

erm, too many things inside my head..
shit, i hate this feelings..

..burst into tears..
i thought i’m good enough but i’m not.
i thought i’m strong enough but i’m not.

layan~

hello.. erm, tga dga2 lgu ttbe trdengar dis song.. pape pun, tga emo, msti lyn en… jom layan~~~urm

Imran Ajmain – Seribu Tahun

Relaku menunggumu
Seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup
Aku kan selama ini

Biar berputar ke arah selatan
Ku tak putus harapan
Sedia setia

Relaku mengejarmu
Seribu batu jauh lagi
Tapi benarkah kakiku
Kan tahan sepanjang jalan ini

Biar membisu burung bersiulan
Terlelah gelombang lautan
Ku masih setia

Adakah engkau tahu
Ini cinta
Adakah engkau pasti
Ini untuk selama-lamanya

Relaku menunggumu
Seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup
Aku kan selama ini…

Biar berputar utara selatan
Ku tak putus harapan
Sedia setia

Jangan putus harapan
Sedia setia…

i love u more than i thought

urgh!!

sharifahzafirahsyedwahid

hmm~

hatiku rse tidak sedap

emo : peAr…….

…

thank you Allah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxzoplqtmHk

topsy-turvy!

what do i expect from u,
its hard for me to accept the truth,
that i’m not the only one in your heart,
there’s a sweetheart in ur memory,
tht breaks my heart when u told me,
the moments shared between u n she.

i want nothing fm u,
jst ur heart n soul will do,
ur tease, ur move makes me blue,
i cried inside coz i love you,
and now tht i knw i can’t hv u..

i had enuf for wut u did,
thnx for the sweet moments shared,
yes,the small thing were big to me,
i thot it would b easier,
for me to forget u if life’s getting busier,
dear i won’t forget u till i’m 7feet under..
now tht i rest in peace,
away frm world full of bitc*

——————————————————–

did u knw tht i’m jealous,
i’m creeping,i’m yelling,
i cried inside telling myself tht u still luv her,
but yet idk either u get me,
coz u seems to tell me innocently,
telling bout u n her,
shit,did u knw it hurts me?
i feel likes i’m nothing,
am i e place 4 u to take revenge?
am i jst a person to cmfrt ur heart?
it keeps on bothering me,
u still thinking bout her each days,
u told me tat u hate her,
i fact i knw u’re still hoping,
and regreting things u did..
but babe i’m not a piece of heart,
not the heart u can play with,
now, b4 everything gets hard,
step aside.
if u meant to hurt me,
coz ily n nothing i can do,
nothing i can say,
to mke u frgt her.
i need sum attention.
i need sum love.
i need sum care.
do i demand a lot?

i knw u love,
i knw u care,
but u did it to me n her.
yeah, i’m being paranoid.
come on, basic feelings surrounds me,
and again i stressed it,
u did it to me n still her!

IMY~

dear buddy,

i dedicate dis poem 2 u,

yup,. i do miss u~

OUH I MISS YOU..
THE WAY YOU TOUCH MY SOUL,
THE WAY YOU TOUCH MY HEART,
EVERYTHING IS NOTHING,
EXCEPT WHEN U’RE WITH ME DARLING,
WE TALKED LATE AT NIGHT,
I FEEL COMMFORT TO BE BY YOUR SIDE.

THINKING NOW THAT U’RE FAR AWAY,
AND I’M STILL WAITING FOR U EVERY SINGLE DAY,
OUH I MISS YOU,
WOULD YOU STILL COME FOR ME,
FOR THAT I FEEL SO LONELY.

STILL FRESH IN MY MIND,
THE DAY WE HANG AROUND,
TEXTING DAYS AND NIGHTS
THINKING WUTS THE FUTURE LOOKS LIKE..

STILL FRESH IN MY MIND,
THE DAY U BROKE MY HEART,
U MAKE ME THINK THAT NITE,
U MAKE ME REALISED THE WRONG N RIGHT.

IT WAS MY FAULT FALLING FOR YOU,
IM SUCH A FOOL N NOW I’M LOSING YOU,
I HOPE WE STILL CAN BE FRIEND,
AND START IT ALL OVER AGAIN..
OUH I MISS YOU.

bila zafirah bnyk berfikir :((

assalamualaikum semua. shit. i feeel like shit. warrrrrrghh~

sume ni psal kkc laa.. haiya.. kkc, klo ko ade rmbut mcm azeem, lme da ak tarik smpai cabut!

the test previously was oukay, tp the interview just now was like damn. y everyone seems to b annoying n hell yeah, aku emo dgn korang. oukay mengikut perasaan sgt zafirah ni ha. yes i am. wey, ak x lyk msuk kkc. i noe. cehs padahal td confident ckp layak. haha. shit. ak tipu! lol..  EMO!EMO!EMO! zafirah gets annoyed today. terase pissed off. apsal la emosi ak ni kaco sgt ni. haih. lek ar pear,. intrview je. sheep. i perform better in intrvw jpa kowt! nervous like hell.. no .. not really.. mncabar minda betol. sorry ar bro amir, u looks so cute! haha. no! kidding. ak geram tgk korang sume td. ye. sumpah! rse  nk gigit sorang2. felo pun same. omg. i know u already married la mdm..yeke?cnfident je. haha. tp ak rse ak pnah tgk ank dier kt kc. wtv. zafirah punye emosi x stabil. dri ptg td dah. tetibe emo! sorry babe.  if u can tolerate wif my unstble emotion, then stay. if not., try to adapt. or change me not to b 1. or u may leave. haih.. tgk.. emo lg. shit. my tears only last inside d eyes for 2 days only. then u start to drop urself again. ouh tears.. syg sket dri ko tu. jgn pt jtuh. klau dh jtuh tu, bgun la sndri. ni nk sruh org tulun pujuk n angkt plak.,.. apehal?? b matured. pkir dlu sblum jatuh. berbaloikah? ye. skrng ak rse berbaloi sbb ak tension ni wey. pressure to neck to head! high pressure. mahu mngadu kt org tp org tga bz2 sume. hm.. xpe. ak syg ko belog. dats y ak tlis. permenant lg tuh. ily belog.. muah2 sket.. XD

oukay ak rse ak dah gilaaa! ye. ak skt kpala since ptg td. dah sronok sgt men smpai lupa ak skt. ni la padahnnye. ko tanggung la skrng sorang2. hm. sakit jgn la tarik2 my urat kepala ni ha.. sakit denyut3.. n ak lappaa la belog. x mkn dinner. lunch lme dh digest tgh hri td.  skrng ak senang lapa weyh. musim2 fertile ni mmg cmni. sheep. ak rse nak mkn kuey tiaw tom yam kc. pergh. hilang panas! haha. ckp psal panas, ak tga pns ni:( rse cm nk dmm da.. tula td gatai men active sgt. dah la esk kuiz prtanian. n yet ak bru bce 2 page je. sheep!.

i hate myself. i want to b d old zafirah. the 1 who didn’t care bout others. the one who was always happy go lucky. always focus on herself. i miss my study style. ouh i want me 3years back. struggling hard, hard n  hard till d very end smpai la spm! wey, mne pegi ak yg rjin study, yg rjin jmpe ckgu tnye soaln, yg rjin stay up smpai pagi, yg slalu bgun at dawn, mne pegi solat hajat sume? eeeeeeeeeee…. emoooooooooo. mne ak yg dlu?? skrng ni i hv sooo many bad qualities. shit! shit for myself! skrng kt universiti, zafirah mnjadi semakin malas. semakin enjoy. semakin bebas. xde siape pun tegur. xde siape pun nak nasihat. everyone stands by their own

ak nak sgt kwn2 mcm skola mngh dlu. remind each other. nk sgt ckgu2 yg caring. kt cni pensyarah lain giler. ‘ko dtg,ak lyn,. ko x dtg, lantak la kau’ lbey kurang cmtu la prinsip diorang yg ak phm. hm.. ape nk jadi dgn ko zafirah?? exam lagi seminggu. gtaw skt ape yg ko da bce? ape yg ko dah phm? boley ke jwb essay titas knegaraan n h.e?? dah hebaat sgt ke? sume fakta dah hafal? yg fizik,dah phm sume konsep? ykin bley jwb sume? x revise lg kan? da try jwb soalan? bley ke bwat sume? yg kimia pulak..mmg la mostly ko a blaja kt mtrik. tp ko ingt ke ape yg ko phm? insyaAllah ingt sikit kan. tp ble dpt soalan, ko ykin bley jwb? klau dier putar2 sket, msti ko gabra kan? ni exercise da ckup belom?? x ckup kan? xbwat bnyk mne pun kan? stdy la mangkok! zafirah! ko ni knape? i dunno either. y ak pressure myself ni?????????? ye. i shud coz no one seems to care. but i do care of mysself. xley depends on anyone la zafirah. stnd by ur own. ko kne sedar sndiri. siape yg nk sedar kan ko sruh blajo? ak la. haih. n yet ak xdpt lg mud study yg btul2 stdy tu.

ak rse mcm nk banned je fb ni!! boley x anyone banned ak drpd login fb.?? shit. melalaikan sungguh. n yet still bukak kan.. pe la ko ni zafirah. haish. lagha.. zafffffffiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! wey, sedar la sikit. tapi ko nak 3.5 above? cmni ke cara dier??? sheeeppp.. ape ak ni. . ak rse dah nkmental dh ni. tolong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES. I KNOW. I THINK TO MUCH. WALK YOUR TALK LA ZAFIRAH!!! PKIR JE LBEY. BWAT XNK. START LA WEY.. TOLONG LA ZAFIRAH. APE DAH NK JD NI???????

i think i think to much.

n i hate it

sumtimes it is gud for me, but now. NO!

waaa:(

tolong:(

emo lg ;(

eeeeeeeeeeeeee~

gerammmmmm…

EMOTIONALLY FREAKING UNSTABLE. sekian

Ouh Allah. am i too far from u?

i’m now crying for Your guidance.

i’m now craving for Your help.

i’m now wanting Your hidayah.

i know i’m never be near to perfect.

i forgot You sometimes.

i let myself being washed by lust.

wake me up from all these dreams

zafirah.. tolongla zafirah Ya Allah. ((

i love the way you lie.

chaotic soul!!

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
Well make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If Im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I dont need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If youre not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If youre not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I cant take it, I don’t understand
If Im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I cant be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

azeem. do we ought to b a part?

no suka without duka~

Assalamualaikum n salam 1 Malaysia.. hehss..

hello ppl. zafirah is back. well disini beta mahu story mory about my bday yg bru je berlepas beberapa puluh jam yang lalu. huhu.. well, i dh short listed kan most effective n efisyen person of the day. hehe, here it goes;

1st bdaywish b4 bday : azeem [ader major story bout this. later i'll citer..hehe]
1st bday call : ‘Ain [ ily smpai matii<3 ]
1st bday sms : k.nad lola
1st bday post on wall fb : buddy,xox

so, Congrats ppl.. haha.. u brighten up my morn! hehss..

thnks to those yg gv bday wishes on fb. i do appreciate them. tmbhn lg, yg i cmmnt tuh, its all the person dat are dear to me. big hugs babeyh XD. n mereka yg ksi sms,mms.. n call.. hargai sgt korang weyh. ini ade sdikit lampiran.. haha.. early birds yg mengewish aku

oukay dah.. sekarang, its azeem’s turn. babe, u rawk, man! thnx for all e so-called-surprise. serious besar ak x sngka ko bwat cmtu. fuh.. wat a day. even a day early, tp sy x kesah. hahaha. its so meaningful+ wonderful till i smile one whole nite smpai ke pagi. hehss XD u r adorable. sweet sehingga mnjilat jari. haha.. no need to mention every details about the nite,. ckuplah sekadar kte cherish together.. thanks dear. i thnk u hd  bcme apart of me. won’t frgt u till i’m 7feet under.  serious besar!

n beberapa saat setelah 9 october berlalu, dtg lah 10 october.. hahahaha.. mmg la.. heee.. no, wat i nk citte is tht ni ha, my rumate bwat surprise party tetibe… around 12 cmtu, k.nad, azie, syaza, n k.piqah serbu bilik with big tupperware of fries, nuggets, cili sos and kek secret recipe yg bapak besar. slalu mkn slices je.. ni yg bulat tu ha.. thnx kak shu.. muah4… ilysm. ktrang pun mkn dan makan dan makan dan makan.. pergh.. kenyang sgt2.. smpai kek sume tinggl sparuh.. dh la fav ak.. CHEESE CAKE.. yeah.. kbetulan sme lak ngan kek azeem.. jst dis time, kek lg besar.. syg korang. hehe.. nuggets laku sgt, hbs awl2 dah.. syaza ar ni.. haha.. n fries yg bnyk pun dah ngeng.. bgus2.. x membazir! XD korang sume sgt sweet .. k.na n piqah n azie, 4 the bday prezzie, thnx taw.. thnk you sgt sgt  korang.

hehe.. thnks to k.mas group charger topap yg ksi hdiah n cake.. hehe.. syg akak jgk terbaek dari ladang k11.. hahaha..

to bday-mate, Aina Syazana, Happy Birthday syg. Semoga kita dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki. hugss

well, enuf bout bday, nw back to e title.. duka? huu.. hm. i duuno la hw to express my feeling skrng.

“Nobody wanna see us together, nobody thought we’d last forever
I feel I’m hopin’ and prayin’ things between us gonna get better”

-akon,don’t matter.

will b continue writing soon. i will. adios~

xoxoxo ; sharifahzafirahsyedwahid.

if i let you go~

assalamualaikum.

i’m here my dear belog..huhu..

sory lamer x menjengah di sni..being buzy lately with test and presentations and assignment. pffft~

last week sgt2 penat. damsel in distress? lbey kurang arr.. haha. well, the title.. i ske..it is a song by westlife. sgt touched if really layan maa.. sheep.. it reminds me of sum1 dat i used to share my problems,my thot, my pain. hurm. =( i wish dat time won’t passed by sgt cpt.. can u reverse blek time matriks dlu.. hell yeah.. missing everyone.. imy like hell.

well, current life was freaking hebat! i hv a day out last sunday wif a friend-or-used-to-be-the-scandal-kah. azie and others shud b there too. huu~ hm.. hving a great time. seriously serious! nvr felt those feelings b4.. thnks to those yg terlibat. rse so special. i love perasaan tu.

n there’s sumthing bout ppl nowadays dat i rse confused melampau. ape? hm.. ntah la.. i syg sume my friends. tp there’s sum kind of things bout them yg we can’t really phm. mayb just true friends je kowt yg boley discover.. i knw i’m not perfect. i’m not gud enuf. i’m jahat. wut else. jst say it babe. well, it really shows tht i need guidence then. dun left me. if u want to, i do not say dat i dont care. i do care. but its just i feel a bit sdey and mad. hurm. dunno la. wuts the use of kawan if we can’t be there when they need us.?  kawan oh kawan. Oh God, show me the way~

another thing, L.O.V.E. spell it? haha.. its love.. mcm2… so many ppl hd been saying bout love itu dan ini.. wtv.. if ak mau tulis, smpai hbs syawal pun x abes2.. hehss.. oh lupa, xsmpat maa mau gnti puasa in bulan syawal. haih. wey, i do have sumone dat i sincerely syg tp theres sum confusion inside. just 1 question dat i always wanted to tnye. its not tnye but more to beg. i’m begging here, please. i feel like dying when i cry. can you please help me by not making any tears drop. i am just a plain girl. i’m not strong enuf. i’m not tough.  i’m just perfectly imperfect. shit! i shud ask myself to stop crying either than asking ppl to stop making me crying. sensitve. too sensitive. jealousy. shitt sgt2. wey, ak bnci la perasaan jeles ni. it destroys me. it destroys my heart. shit3. stop making tears la mata zafirah. its already shining. shit. hey3, bnyk sgt ak mncarut shitty ni. bengong zafirah. hah. gilaa. hm i konw i shud suck it and accepting and adapting with d environmnt and ppl around.oukay i shud stop writing. lot of kerja to do. bubye belog. ilysm.

-zafirahfirazaferpear-

u make me laugh.
u make my cry.
i don’t know which
side to buy.

deep inside..these feeling reveal again~ [repost]

as i woke up,
i asked myself..
what my future will be??
does it bright,?
does it shines??
or no light for me??
but i do believe that God is fair,
only God knows what it’ll be..

as i woke up,
i remember,.
mum once said,”a doctor”,.
and dad said,.”depends on you,daughter”..
and i said,.i’ll make our life better..
what the future’ll be??
only God knows better..

as i woke up,
i think of my friends,
are they lucky enough??
or i’m d 1 who isn’t tough??
for they’re far away..
and i jst here n stay..
only God knows my way..

Dear God;
i know i’d m8 lots of sins,
sometimes i forget You,
i let myself washed away with the world’s,
i’ve hurt others heart,
i’m not a good servant,
i’m not a good child,
i’m not a good friend,.
but deep inside,
only You knows my heart,
how i regret doing this n that,
how i lost a part,
how i cried alone at night,
and can You show me the light??
or i’m the one who can’t see with my sight?

Dear God;
i need Your sign,
so tht i can choose the correct way,
i need Your guidance,
so that i can make it through d day,
i need Your help,
so that evrythng is okay..
i need You besides me,
for i know that i can’t walk alone,
for i know that i’m weak,
for i know that i’m imperfect,
only from You,.i seek for help..
The Most Gracious,Most Merciful..
am i on the right track??

feelin’ lost;
sharifahzafirahbintisyedwahid

updated!

assalamualaikum dan selamat sejahtera..

hm..akhirnya berkesempatan juga nk berbeloging..skrng i’m in a state of pening2, gilaa2, dan emo2..
kdg2 ak hope my heart ni is not too weak..knape la sgt sng tears ni jatuh..alahai zafirah

here in upm..things happened jst in a blink of an eye je..cpt gler mse brlalu..

ak msih x brape stable lg la agknye kt cni..time management especially..fuh..gt no time to spend for revision..actly ade kowt..jst bertaburan sket mse stdy tu..huh..class mostly hbs kul5..n mlm cm da pnat n mngntuk..n then nk stay up xlarat ngantok n trus off to bed..sigh..

blum lg klau nk kira time2 on9..cehss..hampeh la ko wifi ni..slalu je goda ak..tp mmg susa nk elak..haish..
sehari x bukak fb,tumblr,.rse dah gatal2 tgn ni ha..haha.. [alasan je pear..cehss]

hm..blkngn ni jgk,emosi sgt la x stabil..cepat terusik..aiya..i wish hti ak ni leh keras sket..hmm..

psal test bru2 ni..alhamdulillah la..result x terok sgt for phy n chm..tp still hv to improve.. titas, he, n kenegaraan x taw la cmne..hope ok la jgk..ameen..

hm..ak rse hati ak huru hara laaaa..apsal ek?
idk either..
sy sedih..
sy rse sayu…
sy rse nk nangis..
sy rse lost…
sy rse lonely..
sy sedih niii..
sy rse sebak…
sy rse lemah…

zafirah ko ni knape?

ak xtaw..
emo sgt2~

Ya Allah..
bantu lah ak Ya Allah..
Kau tenangkanlah hati ku,
Kau permudahknlah segala urusan ku..
Kau temani lah ak Ya Allah..
Aku sedih

taubat seorang hamba~

0640hours.

79 top malinja

mood : empty,sayu, suram.

Hati hiba mengenangkan dosa2 yg ku lakukan,
Oh Tuhan Maha Kuasa,
Terima taubat hamba berdosa…

Ku akui kelemahan diri,
Ku insafi kekurangan ini,
Ku kesali kejahilan ini,
Terimalah 3x…..
Taubatku ini…..

Telah aku merasakan derita jiwa dan perasaan,
Kerana hilang dari jalan menuju redhaMu ya Tuhan.

Ku akui kelemahan ini,
Ku insafi kekurangan ini,
Ku kesali kejahilan ini,
Terimalah 3x…
Taubatku ini…

Di hamparan ini ku meminta moga taubatku diterima…

Ku akui kelemahan ini,
Ku insafi kekurangan ini,
Ku kesali kejahilan ini,
Terimalah 3x….
Taubatku ini…

Ku akui kelemahan ini,
Ku insafi kekurangan ini,
Ku kesali kejahilan ini,
Terimalah 3x..
Taubatku ini..

~need strenght, need calmness, need advice, need love, need Allah ;(

LOW PROFILE 1~

1640hours,Top Malinja,UPM.

salam

hello sang belog..haha..emm..otak ku skrng in the state of serabut + serabai + gila2 + keliru + bnyk2 pkir = ?@#$%^&@

hurrmm.. saya ada seorang kawan sebilik. dia seorang yang sangat baik. dia mempunyai perwatakan yang menarik, peramah dan baik hati. tapi ada sesuatu yang membuatkan saya berasa rendah sangat kalau nk dibandingkn ngn dier..hurm..yela..dier actly btdung labuh..so, cm slalu la jgk pegi ke sana sini ngn dier..n there’s a feelin inside yg said sumthing..ak pun xtaw la nk luahkn cmne tp tula..rse rndh dri la jgk..post ni bkn nk kutuk2 ke ape..just ak nk luahkn je ape yg ak rse ble ngn dier..hmmm

Ak rse ak ni bnyk lg kelemahan..of kos..yela..slalu di mata org2 len said tht org tdung lbuh ni mmg insyaAllah sume bek2 jaa..tp xde la pulak yg x pkai lbuh2 tu org yg jht okay..err..em,rse ak ni bnyk sgt wat dosa scara lngsung or x..hmm..yela ak ni kn jnis yg hyper sket…she was really baik sgt ok..hurm..ksimpulannye ak rse rndh dri la ngn dier.. x smpai pitching la nk luahkn ari ni..hmm..jst ak hope thre’s ruang for me to chnge myself..tmbhn di bulan Ramadhn yg mulia ni..insyaAllah..dpt jaga hati diri sndiri mahupun org lain..huhu..

ak rse ak da mengong ni..kjp2 skema,..kjp2 x formal..aiyo..k la..nk kuar.. t ble pitching dah btul,..ak akn kmbali..

I’LL B BACK~

kembali tenang~

diharapkan hari ini 2 0gos lebih baik dari 1 ogos semalam..

insyaAllah~

sensitive kah?

ur name tat appear on the list make me cry..

just tat??yup..

so don’t approach me coz u’ll m8 me cry harder ;(

but deep inside,..i want the other way round..

hmm..EMO glerr yaww..pfffttt ;P

stupid things~i knw..sigh..

warrrghhh…feelin regret to do this n that earlier on..

haih fira..

dat boy truly ruin the heart of me..

totally dumb

totally nuttss..
totally crazieee…
fira completely dissapointed..

need backup

ding dong~~

hampir2 stabil~~

fira redha je laaa~

LAPTOP AK HILANG!!

FULL STOP..cite nxt time ok..rite nw anda doakn agr pncuri tu insap la..x kesah dpt blek ke x laptp tu,..jst hope org yg curik tu jmpe ak sblm ak atau dier mati.. Sekian..ak sedih tahap 160GB ;( waaaa~~

new look :)

lalala..

bosan dgn yg lame..?

kte ganti yg baru..haha..

terms n conditions apply~lol..

tp..

xsume bnde leh pkai n buang je..

manusia punya perasaan..

ingat tu..

don’t walk inside my life if u tend to hurt me n just walk away~

at 1 point, i even hate to see ur face..

i’d lie..

haha..craps..NOpoint..

kecundangkah aku?

hurm..ak menulis jgak akhirnyaaa..menaip specifically..

I’M WALKING WITH MY HEAD LOWERED IN SHAME FROM MY PLACE..

I’M WALKING WITH MY HEAD LOWERED FROM MY RACE..

YES ITS EASY TO BLAME EVERYTHING ON THE WEST..

WHEN IN FACT, ALL FOCUS SHOULD BE ON OURSELF…

[i'm starting with da song of awaken frm maher zain..ske rntk dier..]

hmmm..sume bnde cm x btul je few days ni..ak pun xtaw la..bnyk btul ak pkir..kdg2 rse mau MATI je..tp nauzubillah ak katekan..amal kebjkn pun skit ak rse..dose bnyk..waallahualam~mse ak nk log in msuk wordpress ni td pun, ade masalah..3-4 kali gak ak msuk password..xley msuk gak..ERROR la..pe la..haish..rpenye tertekan caps lock! sengal la ak ni..haih..then tgk kt recent draft,.ade 2-3 post yg tersangkut,x abes tlis..x smpai pitching, x terpost..sume save kt draft je..adui..ak dpt rse ketegangan urat di tengkuk n bahu..n skt backbone sbb da lme ak meniarap ats bed ngadap laptop ni..yet,bru la rse tenang sket nk typing skrng ni..hm.. :-/

“fira2..pe nk jd ngan ko ni”..bnyk kli gak ak luahkan perasaan ini dlm hti..[bkn luah ni,..simpan sbnanye..huu] erm,nk cte kt org,rse cm x de lg kwn yg btul2 ak ley luahkn,yg snggup dgr sume..ade mmg ade kowt 2,3 org..tp..xsume bnde kte leh n nk cte kt kwn kte kn..sumtimes diorng mmg xnk dgr pun sbnanye..jst bwat2 interested je..hurm..xpe la..not talking about fren rite nw..i’m talking bout me…wat i feel.. ;-(

so,ak cte kt belog ni je la..start wif result~~hurm..agk truk n tidak memuaskan..SERVE ME RIGHT!..bnyk lg kelemahan dan kekurangan diri ak yg kne ak improve ESPECIALLY about handling EMOSI..ahah..weakeast subject ni..huhuhu..well,.kwn2..korng xyh la tnye reslt brape..tension larr..tp ak bersyukur la sbb at least dpt 3 above..ak dpt terime n REDHA je skrng ni..ak taw ALLAH tu Maha Adil..myb bkn rezki ak nk dpt pointr bnyk2..hmm..hakikatnye mmg la sdey tp nk wat cmne kn..da lps tu dh la pear..pujuk dri sdri je la..bak kate faqa,be OPTIMISTIC!…THINK POSITVE! sume bnde yg jd ade hikmahnye..

skrng sude berpindah dibwh lantai..huhu..ak pnat la taip ats bed ni..huuu..sengal!

hm..kerisauan yg melande skrng ni is about course ape ak nk plih nnt ek.?.hm..hm..hm..think about health science tp takowt pointr x back up sgt la nk dpt sains kesihatn ni..hurmm..pening kepala kuuu..terok la ak ni.. ;(

hows da future will b??only ALLAH knows..ade gk ak tpkir psal forensik..oke ke?xtaw la..frez de jgk ksi idea bout chem engin n nursing..huhu..i thnk engin xley la..obviously pointr kne high nk wat engine..besides,xmnat sgt kt engin..xske sgt fizik..n nursing??can b short listed into consideration..ak butuh masa untuk bpikr dong..this weak gonna be a searching week..COURSE HUNT!ahah..cri info2 yg memberansangkn dn dpt meransang ak tuk plih kos yg tepat dan betul sejajar dgn minat dan keputusan..huh..sesungguhnye,kite hnye merancang..Allah yg tentukan..

lagi nk cte..ak agk terkilan dn menyampah dn regret la gak dgn dri ak..satu bnde yg ak bwat yg wat dri ak ni bodoh..trus trng la ak ckp..i’m stupid..ak hrp dpt undur mse yg dh berlalu tp TIDAK MUNGKIN..peluang x dtg slalu n yet i take for granted when i got da chance once before..ku menyesal..SUMPAH!…hm..lessons learnt is..THINK B4 U ACT/TALK..indeed..xpe la fira..OPTIMIST!! myb Allah nk tnjuk smthng kt ko,..nk suh ko blaja sesuatu..be confident,jgn terlalu bnyk brfikir..kawal emosi..ak taw ak ni EMOTIONAL orgnye..huhu..is it bad?truk ke? sbb kwn ak ckp dier plng benci ak emo..wah!tamparan hebat bg ak sbnanye ble dier ckp cmtu tp ak trime seadenye..time emo,ak emo laa..time biase2,..ak oke je..HAPPY GO LUCKY gitu..hee..tp dier ak da anggap cm kwn ak..xpe..myb dier xthn ngn ak ke pe..ahah..hnye mereke yg phm ak je taw ak cmne..ko xske,..xpyah nk pretending lorr..ak BENCI!!..ALAMAK..out of topic laks… :-/

urrrggghh..focus2!!!

ermmm..kt cni ak nk ckp sorry la sume org yg ak pnah sktkn hti ke..hm..kdng2 ak direct je ckp..hope anda sume sudi memaafkn..to Shehdi Lanun,.sorry..sy x mmpu nk tunaikan janji sy..hnye itu je yg sye boleh ksi..sy tau sorry xde meaning pun sbb i shud b sorry 4 myself..kepada mak ayah..sorry mak,..ayah..xdpt result yg gempak2..bgus2..ntah mne slh org ni..myb kurng usahe..bnyk main ke..x focus ke..sorry..

tears drop ;-(

xmmpu ak nk truskn tlis psal mak ayh ni..sdey glerr…sebak weyh..rse pressure kt tengkuk ni..sobss..dh la pear..ak cbe pujuk dri sndri je la..mnmndngkn xde spe nk tenangkn ak skrng ni..i need SUPPORT rite now..any1 nk consult ak x? hurmm..fira2..myb bkn rzki ko dis time..insyaAllah klau dpt msuk U nnt,usahe lg kuat..u know ur STRENGTH, u know ur weaknesses..FIX IT!!…msih ader peluang..InsyaAllah..ak ykin Allah ade rncgn laen tuk ak pasni..myb lagi baik atau sebaliknye..walllahualam..xmampu ak nk duga masa depan mcm mne..biarlah DIA yg mnntukn..

kay..last paragraph ni,.ak nk tlis sket kate2 smngt tuk dri ak tp ak xde kate2 dn semangat sekarang..hmm.. rse nk collapse tp ak ade sdikit lg kekuatn tuk ttp brdri bwat mse ni..[hkikatnye ak duduk..heh]..hm.. kt cni ak copy paste kate2 dri kwn ak ni..dier ckp…

tak mengapa….kerana apa2 jua result yg kita perolehi….yg lebih penting ialah result keimanan kita yg kita tak nak turun…nak senantiasa naik…namun…jika kedua2 nya naik lagi bagus….takper…selagi nyawa kita masih belum bernoktah….kita masih ada peluang untuk memperbaikinya….ingatlah….kelemahan kita sebenarnya mengajar erti ketabahan…ketabahan diri bererti kita cekal mengharungi ujian….maka … datanglah apa jua rupa ujian….insyaAllah kita mampu menanganinya….Yang paling utama yg kita TAK BOLEH LUPA ialah ALLAH ALWAZ WITH US….

uhuhu..insyaAllah sue dan saat ini tetibe je fon low batt dan terus lenyap..fuh..sorry ye sue x angkt fon td..em, sbnanye bnyk lg yg ade dlm otak ak ni..bnyk lg yg termendap..bnyk g yg ak nk tlis..tp x mmpu dah..otak dh jamm..pintu idea dan perasaan tuk meluah telah tertutup..gilaaaaaa ak ni..huh..

k la,..da la..ak akn dtg balik ke blog ini dgn semangat yg baru dlm masa yg terdekat..MESTI..ITS A MUST..COMPULSORY!..insyaAllah..dan lirik lagu ni..ak dedicate la kat diri ak sendiri..sedikit sebnyk bnyk dpt wat ak tng sket wlau mnitis air mata n dpt muhasabah diri..INSYAALLAH~~

Every time you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost and
That you’re so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair n’ never loose hope
Cos’ Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3

Insha Allah you’ll find your way

Insha Allah x3

Every time you can make one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that it’s why too late
You’re so confused,
Wrong decisions you have made
Hunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cos’ Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3

Insha Allah you’ll find your way

Insha Allah x3

Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him Raise your hands and pray Oh
Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2

Insha Allah x3

Insha Allah we’ll find our way

with GOD will,InsyaAllah..i’ll find my way..ameen…

aku-yang-lemah;
sharifahzafirah

60th..[ponder 2]..

salam..

been readng few ppl’s blog..n few fren’s..and also heard some stories bout ‘em..

hurm..they actly m8 me think, m8 me realize..m8 me ponder..compare..

LIFE is’nt easy..but otherwise..if we do knw how to tackle it~indeed..

lots of thngs need to be explore…need to be learn..i still hv a long journey..InsyaAllah if dipanjangkn umur..Ameen..

everyday,..evry morning..when i woke up,the heart is still beating..Alhamdulillah..and days goes by..weeks..month..n years…its jst in a blink of eyes…

hurm…i need changes…exactly!

need to change my att., my way of thinkng, being rational, my routine, control my unstable emotion, make sure of the unsure, kuatkn iman, hv the strong faith inside, be matured, being responsible…

n learn from mistakes..tonnes..hm..

need time for myself though..

unsure1;sharifahzafirahsyedwahid