hurm..ak menulis jgak akhirnyaaa..menaip specifically..
I’M WALKING WITH MY HEAD LOWERED IN SHAME FROM MY PLACE..
I’M WALKING WITH MY HEAD LOWERED FROM MY RACE..
YES ITS EASY TO BLAME EVERYTHING ON THE WEST..
WHEN IN FACT, ALL FOCUS SHOULD BE ON OURSELF…
[i'm starting with da song of awaken frm maher zain..ske rntk dier..]
hmmm..sume bnde cm x btul je few days ni..ak pun xtaw la..bnyk btul ak pkir..kdg2 rse mau MATI je..tp nauzubillah ak katekan..amal kebjkn pun skit ak rse..dose bnyk..waallahualam~mse ak nk log in msuk wordpress ni td pun, ade masalah..3-4 kali gak ak msuk password..xley msuk gak..ERROR la..pe la..haish..rpenye tertekan caps lock! sengal la ak ni..haih..then tgk kt recent draft,.ade 2-3 post yg tersangkut,x abes tlis..x smpai pitching, x terpost..sume save kt draft je..adui..ak dpt rse ketegangan urat di tengkuk n bahu..n skt backbone sbb da lme ak meniarap ats bed ngadap laptop ni..yet,bru la rse tenang sket nk typing skrng ni..hm.. :-/
“fira2..pe nk jd ngan ko ni”..bnyk kli gak ak luahkan perasaan ini dlm hti..[bkn luah ni,..simpan sbnanye..huu] erm,nk cte kt org,rse cm x de lg kwn yg btul2 ak ley luahkn,yg snggup dgr sume..ade mmg ade kowt 2,3 org..tp..xsume bnde kte leh n nk cte kt kwn kte kn..sumtimes diorng mmg xnk dgr pun sbnanye..jst bwat2 interested je..hurm..xpe la..not talking about fren rite nw..i’m talking bout me…wat i feel.. ;-(
so,ak cte kt belog ni je la..start wif result~~hurm..agk truk n tidak memuaskan..SERVE ME RIGHT!..bnyk lg kelemahan dan kekurangan diri ak yg kne ak improve ESPECIALLY about handling EMOSI..ahah..weakeast subject ni..huhuhu..well,.kwn2..korng xyh la tnye reslt brape..tension larr..tp ak bersyukur la sbb at least dpt 3 above..ak dpt terime n REDHA je skrng ni..ak taw ALLAH tu Maha Adil..myb bkn rezki ak nk dpt pointr bnyk2..hmm..hakikatnye mmg la sdey tp nk wat cmne kn..da lps tu dh la pear..pujuk dri sdri je la..bak kate faqa,be OPTIMISTIC!…THINK POSITVE! sume bnde yg jd ade hikmahnye..
skrng sude berpindah dibwh lantai..huhu..ak pnat la taip ats bed ni..huuu..sengal!
hm..kerisauan yg melande skrng ni is about course ape ak nk plih nnt ek.?.hm..hm..hm..think about health science tp takowt pointr x back up sgt la nk dpt sains kesihatn ni..hurmm..pening kepala kuuu..terok la ak ni.. ;(
hows da future will b??only ALLAH knows..ade gk ak tpkir psal forensik..oke ke?xtaw la..frez de jgk ksi idea bout chem engin n nursing..huhu..i thnk engin xley la..obviously pointr kne high nk wat engine..besides,xmnat sgt kt engin..xske sgt fizik..n nursing??can b short listed into consideration..ak butuh masa untuk bpikr dong..this weak gonna be a searching week..COURSE HUNT!ahah..cri info2 yg memberansangkn dn dpt meransang ak tuk plih kos yg tepat dan betul sejajar dgn minat dan keputusan..huh..sesungguhnye,kite hnye merancang..Allah yg tentukan..
lagi nk cte..ak agk terkilan dn menyampah dn regret la gak dgn dri ak..satu bnde yg ak bwat yg wat dri ak ni bodoh..trus trng la ak ckp..i’m stupid..ak hrp dpt undur mse yg dh berlalu tp TIDAK MUNGKIN..peluang x dtg slalu n yet i take for granted when i got da chance once before..ku menyesal..SUMPAH!…hm..lessons learnt is..THINK B4 U ACT/TALK..indeed..xpe la fira..OPTIMIST!! myb Allah nk tnjuk smthng kt ko,..nk suh ko blaja sesuatu..be confident,jgn terlalu bnyk brfikir..kawal emosi..ak taw ak ni EMOTIONAL orgnye..huhu..is it bad?truk ke? sbb kwn ak ckp dier plng benci ak emo..wah!tamparan hebat bg ak sbnanye ble dier ckp cmtu tp ak trime seadenye..time emo,ak emo laa..time biase2,..ak oke je..HAPPY GO LUCKY gitu..hee..tp dier ak da anggap cm kwn ak..xpe..myb dier xthn ngn ak ke pe..ahah..hnye mereke yg phm ak je taw ak cmne..ko xske,..xpyah nk pretending lorr..ak BENCI!!..ALAMAK..out of topic laks… :-/
urrrggghh..focus2!!!
ermmm..kt cni ak nk ckp sorry la sume org yg ak pnah sktkn hti ke..hm..kdng2 ak direct je ckp..hope anda sume sudi memaafkn..to Shehdi Lanun,.sorry..sy x mmpu nk tunaikan janji sy..hnye itu je yg sye boleh ksi..sy tau sorry xde meaning pun sbb i shud b sorry 4 myself..kepada mak ayah..sorry mak,..ayah..xdpt result yg gempak2..bgus2..ntah mne slh org ni..myb kurng usahe..bnyk main ke..x focus ke..sorry..
tears drop ;-(
xmmpu ak nk truskn tlis psal mak ayh ni..sdey glerr…sebak weyh..rse pressure kt tengkuk ni..sobss..dh la pear..ak cbe pujuk dri sndri je la..mnmndngkn xde spe nk tenangkn ak skrng ni..i need SUPPORT rite now..any1 nk consult ak x? hurmm..fira2..myb bkn rzki ko dis time..insyaAllah klau dpt msuk U nnt,usahe lg kuat..u know ur STRENGTH, u know ur weaknesses..FIX IT!!…msih ader peluang..InsyaAllah..ak ykin Allah ade rncgn laen tuk ak pasni..myb lagi baik atau sebaliknye..walllahualam..xmampu ak nk duga masa depan mcm mne..biarlah DIA yg mnntukn..
kay..last paragraph ni,.ak nk tlis sket kate2 smngt tuk dri ak tp ak xde kate2 dn semangat sekarang..hmm..
rse nk collapse tp ak ade sdikit lg kekuatn tuk ttp brdri bwat mse ni..[hkikatnye ak duduk..heh]..hm.. kt cni ak copy paste kate2 dri kwn ak ni..dier ckp…
tak mengapa….kerana apa2 jua result yg kita perolehi….yg lebih penting ialah result keimanan kita yg kita tak nak turun…nak senantiasa naik…namun…jika kedua2 nya naik lagi bagus….takper…selagi nyawa kita masih belum bernoktah….kita masih ada peluang untuk memperbaikinya….ingatlah….kelemahan kita sebenarnya mengajar erti ketabahan…ketabahan diri bererti kita cekal mengharungi ujian….maka … datanglah apa jua rupa ujian….insyaAllah kita mampu menanganinya….Yang paling utama yg kita TAK BOLEH LUPA ialah ALLAH ALWAZ WITH US….
uhuhu..insyaAllah sue
dan saat ini tetibe je fon low batt dan terus lenyap..fuh..sorry ye sue x angkt fon td..em, sbnanye bnyk lg yg ade dlm otak ak ni..bnyk lg yg termendap..bnyk g yg ak nk tlis..tp x mmpu dah..otak dh jamm..pintu idea dan perasaan tuk meluah telah tertutup..gilaaaaaa ak ni..huh..
k la,..da la..ak akn dtg balik ke blog ini dgn semangat yg baru dlm masa yg terdekat..MESTI..ITS A MUST..COMPULSORY!..insyaAllah..dan lirik lagu ni..ak dedicate la kat diri ak sendiri..sedikit sebnyk bnyk dpt wat ak tng sket wlau mnitis air mata n dpt muhasabah diri..INSYAALLAH~~
Every time you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost and
That you’re so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair n’ never loose hope
Cos’ Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Every time you can make one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that it’s why too late
You’re so confused,
Wrong decisions you have made
Hunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cos’ Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him Raise your hands and pray Oh
Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah we’ll find our way
with GOD will,InsyaAllah..i’ll find my way..ameen…
aku-yang-lemah;
sharifahzafirah